When do I think of you?

I think of you when I hear “coffee”- we met at PCC(a coffee restaurant) once

I think of you when I hear “fish” – you wanted to order fish that day but didn`t.

Let us move away from food. It makes me hungry.

I think of you whenever I see my roommates drinking alcohol- I wanted to show my negatives to you; so I let you know every time I got drunk.( I quit alcohol now)

I think of you when I travel by a car- I wished that you would ask me to sit beside you rather than the driver.

I think of you when I see a train- It took me 20 minutes to search your name on the 3AC list that day.

I think of you when I go to a theater- I wish you had come that day to watch 2012 with me

I think of you when I see my payslip – You mentioned “wealth” as one of the turnons on your orkut           #facepalm

I think of you when I see a doctor- you are one

I think of you when I smile- you have brought so much joy to me

I think of you when I cry- you made me shed a few tears

I think of you when I attend a marriage- I have gatecrashed a marriage to see you

I think of you when I write- What wouldn`t I give to impress you?

I think of you when I sleep- Actually, I sleep so that I can dream of you, of us.

I think of you always.

What are you laughing at?

X: You should listen to me. Will you?
I:No
X: But it is for own good I am telling this. If you listen to me, it will benefit you. Will you?
I:No
X: What is wrong with you?
I: Wrong? You asked me a question and I gave you a reply.
X: But I want you to listen to me.
I: Then you should issue an order.
X: I want you to understand. It is for your own good.
I: This discussion or my understanding?
X: I do not get you.
I: It does not matter.
X(sighs): So will you do it?
I: You are not ordering me.
X: I don`t want to be like everyone else. I want you to have a free hand in decisions regarding your life.
I: Do I have to hand over my life to you on a platter then?
X: No, it`s your life. It is just that if you give value to my judgement, you will prosper.
I(breaks into fits of laughter)
X: What are you laughing at?
I: At the futility of your talk.You are talking to me as if I am alive while in reality, you want me to be dead. You want me to take decisions and “grow” up in life by confirming to the principles of your mind. Why don`t you talk to a mirror? It will not nod with perfectly spaced pauses but it will not snigger for sure.

To all those who would identify themselves with Hank Rearden

End of my post and oh time is 6am on a saturday- should be the end of jackathons of a few friends.

The character sketch of me

I can obviously write volumes about myself. It is a conflicting presentation of who I am. Now let me see who I am. To achieve that, I have to peel out the mask I am wearing. Yeah, the mask that would not let me out of my comfort zone, the mask that would make me hesitate to write the truths about me. Okay, task accomplished.

Who am I?

I am a man, like all of you reading this blog (if any women have survived the high girl child mortality rate in India, they are welcome).  As the name suggests, I am a narcissist too. I am so proud of myself that I don`t let anyone or anything affect me. Obviously I am not going to admit even if I am affected. I want to sound so cool that even when the love of my life rejects me, I say “okay, not an issue.” I will not show her I can easily(rejects happen to everyone, what is the big deal, right?- no, you ass, you ought to put away the mask) be upset – not when her orkut says assertiveness is one of her turn-ons. No, I am not living in prehistoric times to be an active orkut user.

I am an egotist- an emotional egotist. People who know me can scarcely believe if I say I cry- not so much as the bahu in the age-old serials but definitely more for an Indian male. We are not supposed to cry. When I was a kid, I fell down and my ankle got twisted. Before I can cry, my gradmother said,’Don`t cry, you are a boy.’ I don`t understand why guys should not cry. Tears serve as an outlet for letting out emotion. So if any of you who want to cry but are afraid of being ridiculed by others, the easy way is to go for a walk in the night. You blend with the darkness and become unnoticeable.

I am so obsessed with myself that I constantly look for ways to make me feel proud of myself. Do you know what is the toughest task for someone like me? It is to hate myself to such a point that the word “self” becomes irrelevant. The hatred results in sarcasm and irony directed inwards which ultimately leads to a void. It is what the society does. In order to tame a free individual and fill his (already saturated) mind with its ideas/opinions, it should initially empty the individual`s mind of all that can be called “his”, leaving a hollow space. It can then fill up the hollow space with the contents of its choice. Before the society does that to me, I will beat it to the post. It looks like I came up with a contrasting writeup. Who won`t like to think he is a complex/unique person?

The character sketch of a parent

Mathrudevobhava, Pithrudhevobhava …

It is definitely apt to equate parents with God. God gives us prosperity so that we can shower him with flowers. Parents provide us with the tools (say education) to attain riches so that we can look after them well in their later years. To prove this point to a greater extent, I ask you to look upon the behavior of parents in your vicinity. If their child has a decent intellect, they care for him more. I urge all those intellectual minds who are reading this to ask your parents, ‘Why did you choose to give birth to me?’ In order to make their job easy, you can provide them with four options.

  1. Every Munni, Sheela and Chameli around me is bearing kids. I don`t want people to doubt my potence.
  2. I want someone to take care of me in my old age.
  3. I want to be praised for raising such an accomplished son/daughter.
  4. I found a condom too costly. I want someone to be dominated by me just as I was by my parents.

Ask your parents to either choose any of these 4 options or come up with an original reason.

There is no wrong with having a son or daughter for your own ends. But it is important for the parents to realize that children are not part of the agreement. They are coerced into it by a moment of lust. None of your sons or daughters has said,’ Momma, please give birth to me. I wish to be a top surgeon or engineer and give eternal fame to you.’ I don`t want to imply all parents are as mentioned above. It would have been really nice if they are not.

Character Sketch of friend

This is a rant post. ICSE students will remember that character sketch is an important constituent of project work in English. After all these years, I am going to try describing the character of friend.

Ally is a more apt word in today`s world. Let me recount the nature of allies I have had since my childhood.

Primary school: I was more of a victim rather than a bully. So my co-victims befriended me and we sought solace in our weakness. The grudge towards our violators united us.
Secondary school: I was exceptional in studies.The friends I developed during this period were those who would discuss for hours (in my presence) on whether I would stand first in the class or not. They would feed my ego through subtle praises and I would reciprocate by doing most of their project work and helping them in exam preparations.

University: I sucked in technical subjects. I was good at humanities though. Most of my time was spent watching movies or playing games. My friends in this phase are:

1. Those who got good scores and did not want to be tagged as “loners.”. Being with me was equivalent to having a life, lol. People who could not find the time to accompany me to the theaters would watch the movies on their PCs and crow to the entire world on facebook lest others might think they were working on the assignment due next week.

2. Those who detested the people in 1 and wanted to cover up their mediocre performances with the line “I have a life which you don`t.” It would not be a complete mistake to think I belong to this set of people.

Work:

I don`t have much to write about this phase as I was not in any job for over 9 months.

Combining all these phases, I come up with this description of a friend.

1. One who either looks up to you to subjugate his self to or takes a condescending attitude to feed his pride.

2. If not 1, he considers you to be his equal and asks for help/assists you in bringing down a strong person/ further humiliating a weakling.

3. One who finds you a sharer of his grudge or misfortune.

Is there anything which you can`t do for yourself but which your friend can do?

Of course, you can`t send a “happy birthday” sms to your mobile from your mobile.

*END OF RANT

N.

 

A new blog

I have decided to create a blog and write anonymously. This blog is a result of that.

The need to create this anonymous blog

 I want Mr.Wordpress to know me more intimately keeping a few voyeuristic friends of mine out of the loop.

I am bored of writing politically correct posts. I don`t want to have a reputation to protect.

I think it is cool, lol.

Why I want to publicize this blog?

Like my fellow countrymen, I feed on naught but appreciation and compliments. (The narcissist in me refuses to believe there can be ridicule too)

The more the number of people who read this space, the more it lures me into writing.