X: You should listen to me. Will you?
X: But it is for own good I am telling this. If you listen to me, it will benefit you. Will you?
X: What is wrong with you?
I: Wrong? You asked me a question and I gave you a reply.
X: But I want you to listen to me.
I: Then you should issue an order.
X: I want you to understand. It is for your own good.
I: This discussion or my understanding?
X: I do not get you.
I: It does not matter.
X(sighs): So will you do it?
I: You are not ordering me.
X: I don`t want to be like everyone else. I want you to have a free hand in decisions regarding your life.
I: Do I have to hand over my life to you on a platter then?
X: No, it`s your life. It is just that if you give value to my judgement, you will prosper.
I(breaks into fits of laughter)
X: What are you laughing at?
I: At the futility of your talk.You are talking to me as if I am alive while in reality, you want me to be dead. You want me to take decisions and “grow” up in life by confirming to the principles of your mind. Why don`t you talk to a mirror? It will not nod with perfectly spaced pauses but it will not snigger for sure.
To all those who would identify themselves with Hank Rearden
End of my post and oh time is 6am on a saturday- should be the end of jackathons of a few friends.
I can obviously write volumes about myself. It is a conflicting presentation of who I am. Now let me see who I am. To achieve that, I have to peel out the mask I am wearing. Yeah, the mask that would not let me out of my comfort zone, the mask that would make me hesitate to write the truths about me. Okay, task accomplished.
Who am I?
I am a man, like all of you reading this blog (if any women have survived the high girl child mortality rate in India, they are welcome). As the name suggests, I am a narcissist too. I am so proud of myself that I don`t let anyone or anything affect me. Obviously I am not going to admit even if I am affected. I want to sound so cool that even when the love of my life rejects me, I say “okay, not an issue.” I will not show her I can easily(rejects happen to everyone, what is the big deal, right?- no, you ass, you ought to put away the mask) be upset – not when her orkut says assertiveness is one of her turn-ons. No, I am not living in prehistoric times to be an active orkut user.
I am an egotist- an emotional egotist. People who know me can scarcely believe if I say I cry- not so much as the bahu in the age-old serials but definitely more for an Indian male. We are not supposed to cry. When I was a kid, I fell down and my ankle got twisted. Before I can cry, my gradmother said,’Don`t cry, you are a boy.’ I don`t understand why guys should not cry. Tears serve as an outlet for letting out emotion. So if any of you who want to cry but are afraid of being ridiculed by others, the easy way is to go for a walk in the night. You blend with the darkness and become unnoticeable.
I am so obsessed with myself that I constantly look for ways to make me feel proud of myself. Do you know what is the toughest task for someone like me? It is to hate myself to such a point that the word “self” becomes irrelevant. The hatred results in sarcasm and irony directed inwards which ultimately leads to a void. It is what the society does. In order to tame a free individual and fill his (already saturated) mind with its ideas/opinions, it should initially empty the individual`s mind of all that can be called “his”, leaving a hollow space. It can then fill up the hollow space with the contents of its choice. Before the society does that to me, I will beat it to the post. It looks like I came up with a contrasting writeup. Who won`t like to think he is a complex/unique person?